GIVE

The DBT Skills Challenge

Skillset

Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills: Obtaining Objectives Skillfully

GIVE

Overview

The "Keeping the Relationship (GIVE)" skill in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is designed to enhance interpersonal effectiveness by fostering respectful and positive interactions. It helps individuals maintain and improve their relationships through mindful and considerate communication.

Description

GIVE is an acronym in DBT that stands for:

Gentle: Be gentle in your approach, avoiding attacks, threats, or judgmental language.
Interested: Show genuine interest in the other person’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Validate: Acknowledge and validate the other person’s feelings, thoughts, and experiences, showing understanding and empathy.
Easy Manner: Use an easy-going and light-hearted manner in your interactions, which helps keep the conversation from becoming too intense or adversarial.

This technique emphasizes the importance of how things are said, promoting actions and communications that strengthen relationships. It’s about being mindful of the other person's feelings and needs while communicating your own, thereby building trust and mutual respect.

When to Use

The GIVE technique is particularly useful in various interpersonal contexts:

During Conflicts: Helps de-escalate tensions and promotes a more constructive dialogue.
In Sensitive Discussions: Useful when discussing topics that might naturally lead to emotional responses or defensiveness.
Everyday Interactions: Incorporating GIVE into daily interactions can strengthen relationships over time.

Benefits

Implementing the GIVE technique offers several benefits for interpersonal effectiveness:

Enhances Communication: Leads to clearer, more respectful, and considerate interactions.
Strengthens Relationships: Builds deeper connections through demonstrated empathy and respect.
Reduces Conflict: Lowers the chances of misunderstandings and conflicts escalating by maintaining a positive and respectful tone.

Common Challenges

While GIVE is effective, applying it consistently can be challenging:

Balancing Validation with Personal Boundaries: It can be difficult to validate others’ perspectives while also expressing and maintaining one’s boundaries.
Consistently Showing Interest: Staying genuinely interested, especially in tense or long-term situations, requires sustained effort.
Maintaining an Easy Manner: Keeping a light-hearted approach during serious or emotionally charged discussions can be challenging.

By mastering the GIVE technique, individuals can significantly improve how they relate to others, enhancing both personal and professional relationships. This skill is essential for anyone looking to foster a supportive and cooperative environment in their interactions.